The Tea
A little while ago, a friend of mine admitted that she wasn’t feeling satisfied in her new relationship. I was surprised to hear the news, since she had gushed about how fun all their dates had been so far.
“What changed?” I inquired.
“Well, I think things started going downhill when we decided to make our relationship intimate,” she confessed. “I don’t know why, but things just started feeling uncomfortable.”
After a bit of soul-searching and reflection, we realized the problem stemmed from her chronic perfectionism. It wasn’t that she didn’t enjoy her new partner’s company or his performance; it was that she was nervous about not looking or being good enough. She was getting in her head too much, and she couldn’t let go of the fear that he was judging her body and her moves.
I know that my friend isn’t alone in feeling this way in the bedroom, which is why we’re sharing tips on how women can let go of their perfectionism to enjoy a more fulfilling sex life. We’ll delve into the sneaky ways perfectionism can hurt your ability to enjoy sex, share tips for recognizing when perfectionism is sabotaging you, and offer advice for becoming more comfortable with imperfection.
The Pour
Women are often perfectionists. We aspire to have the ideal bodies, the ideal jobs, and the ideal relationships. But what if we let go of that perfectionism? What if we allowed ourselves to be imperfect? It turns out, letting go of perfectionism can lead to a lot more happiness in life, including better sex.
Perfectionism is a nasty beast. It’s also a sneaky one: it often lurks in the darker corners of our minds, waiting to strike when we’re feeling most vulnerable and self-critical. Perfectionism saps your confidence, and makes you afraid to fail in any way that might be visible to other people.
Deep down, we know all this. In response to our Perfect Sex Survey, hundreds of individuals have shared how perfectionism has eroded their ability to enjoy sex in a healthy way.
Does Perfectionism Affect Sex For Women?
Perfectionism can have a negative effect on sex for women in a number of ways. When we’re constantly worrying about making mistakes or not measuring up, it takes a toll on our mental and physical health.
For one, if a woman is constantly worrying about whether she looks good enough or is good enough in bed, she’s not going to be able to relax and enjoy the experience. Perfectionism can lead to performance anxiety, which can make it difficult for a woman to reach orgasm. This is one of the biggest problems of perfectionism, and it can lead to chronic anxiety and stress.
Perfectionism has also been linked to sexual dysfunction. Women who are perfectionists often have difficulty relaxing and enjoying sex because they’re so focused on performance. If a woman is unable to let go of her perfectionism and relax during sex, it can be a frustrating and unenjoyable experience for both her and her partner.
How Can Women Relax In The Bedroom During Sex?
It can be tough for women to relax and let go of their perfectionism in the bedroom, but it’s important to do so if they want to enjoy better sex. Here are some tips and tricks to promote relaxation in the bedroom.
- Focus on the sensations you’re feeling rather than what you look like
- Experiment with different types of touch, and find what feels good for you
- Focusing on your breathing, or even making some noises during sex
The most important thing is communication. Don’t be afraid to let your partner know what you need in order to feel relaxed. If it means turning the lights off or wearing clothes until you feel more confident in your own skin, so be it!
Strategies For Letting Go Of Perfectionism
There’s no doubt that many women struggle with perfectionism. We live in a society that values achievement, and often puts unrealistic pressure on women to be perfect. Whether it’s our careers, our families, or our relationships, we’re constantly striving to meet impossible standards. And while there’s nothing wrong with wanting to be the best we can be, when perfectionism starts to take over, it can have some serious consequences.
For starters, it can be a major buzzkill when it comes to enjoying sex. Who wants to feel like they’re being constantly judged and evaluated while trying to get intimate with someone? Fortunately, there are a few strategies that can help women let go of their perfectionism and enjoy sex more.
1. Don’t take yourself too seriously. Sex should be fun, not an opportunity to stress out about whether you look or sound perfect. Embrace the sensations and the mood that you’re both sharing.
2. Be honest with your partner. If you’re feeling self-conscious, concerned, or anxious about something, tell your partner. Honesty will help them understand where you’re coming from, and could make sex more enjoyable for both of you. If you’re worried about not being good enough in bed, talk to your partner about it. Chances are they feel the same way! Having an open and honest conversation will help put both of you at ease and make sex more enjoyable.
3. Focus on the present moment. Instead of dwelling on past mistakes or future worries, try to focus on the here and now. This can help you relax and enjoy the sensations of sex without getting caught up in your head.
4. Accept that imperfections are part of life. No one is perfect, so why strive for perfectionism? Accept your flaws and learn to appreciate yourself for who you are. This will not only make sex more enjoyable, but also improve your overall wellbeing.
5. Don’t focus on the destination, enjoy the journey. Instead of thinking about all the things that could go wrong, focus on enjoying the experience of intimacy with your partner. Take your time exploring each other’s bodies and savoring every moment.
The Pour
Perfectionism can be an asset in your life, helping create a drive for success and high performance in any task. But when it comes to having sex, it means that we often hold back in ways that make us miss out on incredible experiences. It is essential to let go of your perfectionism to enjoy better sex. A little bit of anxiety is natural, but don’t take yourself too seriously, be open and honest with your partner, focus on the present moment, accept that imperfections are part of life, stop the self-judgement, and let go of your expectations to enjoy better sex.
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