Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction
Antoine de Saint-Exupery
If you find romantic love as confusing as understanding a foreign language, you’re in the right place.
Even if you think you’re pretty good at relationships but you just need some extra guidance, you’re still in the right place.
Romantic love is one of the best feelings in the world. It provides us with joy, comfort, excitement, companionship, and security.
It can also be incredibly hard to navigate. You’re dealing with a complex human who has their own individual set of needs, beliefs, and values that will inevitably clash with at least one of yours, even if you feel like you’re two peas in a pod.
Society tells us that relationships can and should follow a set path, but that truth is that every path will be completely unique. And it will be filled with bumps, twists, and turns as you learn more about each other and grow.
You’ll never know how your relationship will turn out, but there are plenty of things you can do to nurture it along the way.
5 ways to improve communication in your relationship
Effective communication is crucial in any relationship. It’s what builds trust and respect, and deepens intimacy.
It’s something that should come naturally. After all, your partner is likely the person you’re closest to. They’re the ones you share your deepest secrets with, and also the ones you vent your problems to.
But navigating conflicts or setting boundaries can often become difficult with romantic partners. You don’t want to hurt them or your emotions get the best of you, so communication errors occur.
Communication issues are often the biggest problem in relationships and marriages.
Psychotherapist Laura Young
Here are five tips to improve communication in your relationship, so that you can build a completely respectful and trusting partnership.
Talk about issues as soon as they arise – even when it feels hard or uncomfortable
Sweeping things under the rug or postponing discussions is rarely helpful. It leads to resentment and can make a conflict even bigger than it needs to be. Address issues as soon as they pop up, so that you can move into a place of peace as fast as possible.
Realize that conflicts are about understanding each other’s needs, not being on opposite teams
No matter how similar or different you are as individuals, you’ll naturally have a few opposing views that may lead to conflict. Understand that these opposing points aren’t malicious, and need to be treated with respect. Your partner’s opposing view might come from how they were raised or from a specific event that happened in their life. Learn to validate their opinion, even if you disagree. Listen to each other intently, until you understand exactly what the other person is needing.
Find a resolution that works for both of you, not a compromise
Compromises often leave both parties feeling partially unsatisfied. Keep on working until you find a resolution that makes both of you happy, even if it does require sacrifice on both ends.
Stay on topic as much as possible
Avoid bringing up past issues during conflicts. They’re often irrelevant and will only escalate the situation. It’s a malicious strategy that will only hurt your partner and instill distrust.
Always keep your love at the forefront
It can be easy to lose sight of our emotions when we’re feeling heated, but remember that you’re talking to the person you love most in the world. Try to stay calm, rational, and respectful. Avoid saying anything that you might regret in the future. If you’re feeling like you’re tipping over the edge into aggression or rudeness, try to remember the things you love about your partner.
It takes a lot of maturity and patience to keep communication respectful at all times, but it’s absolutely possible. Don’t lose sight of what’s important, and you’ll be able to build a relationship with healthy communication.
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