Feelings are much like waves, we can’t stop them from coming but we can choose which ones to surf
Jonatan Martensson
If you’re not sure where to go on your healing journey, you’ve come to the right place.
The fact that you’re here already means that you’re set on the right path.
We know that healing isn’t easy. No matter what happened in your past, processing the trauma is already a big step. Moving forward will take a lot of work and patience, but it’s doable. Even when it feels impossible.
Healing involves a lot of self-reflection, and that may make you feel uncomfortable at times. You’ll feel a lot of emotions, ranging from bitterness and resentment to melancholy and regret. But once you finally move past it – and you will with dedication – you’ll come out stronger than you ever thought you could be.
Rebuild trust with these 4 steps
Traumatic experiences often change our psyches. When we feel hurt and deceived, we lose confidence in ourselves and the ability to trust others. Our minds are primed for disappointment and they naturally enter a defensive mode – what if we get hurt again?
71% of Americans think people are less confident in each other than they were 20 years ago.
Pew Research
Rebuilding trust takes time, just like any healing journey. But it’s a step that’s so vital for regaining a sense of normalcy and happiness. Discover if you still have difficulties with trust, and find out how you can rebuild yours with the tips below.
Have you lost your ability to trust others?
- Do you find yourself automatically skeptical about new situations or people?
- Are you always ‘testing’ relationships to ensure the foundations are solid?
- Do you think that you’re the only person you can really trust?
If you can relate to one or all of the above statements, you likely struggle with building trusting relationships – including your relationship with yourself. In choosing to go it alone instead of trusting others, you end up stifling your intuition while increasing your stubbornness.
Losing trust also leads to indecisiveness, insecurity, regret, and possessiveness. You’ll likely find yourself constantly dwelling on past mistakes and ignoring your own needs.
How to rebuild trust
Create a safe space by engaging in the following 4 practices:
Get to know yourself
Take a close look inside yourself to understand what really triggers your difficulties with building trust. There may have been a particular situation that you’re healing from, but try to figure out exactly what happened that hurt you. If you were cheated on, was it the cheating itself, or the fact that you were lied to? Spend time with yourself so you can figure out any underlying causes and understand why you react the way you do in certain situations.
Find balance
Transformation doesn’t happen overnight. It’s all about gradually finding balance. Your difficulties may also stem from imbalances in your life, so figuring out where these occur will be key to your healing journey. If you find yourself stuck in a rut lately, you may need to tip the scales so that you can rediscover happiness and trust. This will also help you build your existing relationships through the ability to compromise.
Practice self-awareness
A lack of self-awareness leads to a life without direction. Instead of finding our purpose, we simply react to the world. This often leads to feelings of not belonging, which in turn fosters distrust. When you don’t know what your goal or purposes are, it can be difficult to find an environment that helps you grow. Consider starting a yoga or meditation practice to spark your self-awareness journey.
Rediscover your self-worth
Establishing and maintaining boundaries that protect your mental health are hard if you constantly put others before yourself. Helping others is never a bad thing, but there is a fine line between selflessness and loss of self. You’ll need to do some work on your self-esteem if you are feeling low and and unvalidated.
Learn to show up for yourself without feelings of guilt or selfishness. It’s healthy and beneficial for everyone when you are direct and firm. Don’t be afraid to say no if one of your personal boundaries is crossed. Once you see that people are respecting your boundaries, it becomes easier to re-establish trust.
The key to healing always lies deep within your soul. When you learn to look inside and accept change, the transformation will begin.
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