The Tea
“If a relationship is meant to be one’s biggest sources of joy, why can they sometimes feel so exhausting?”
A friend of mine recently asked me this. She’s been in a relationship for years, but hers no longer seems to provide her with the happiness and comfort she once felt. She prefers doing activities on her own, and looks for any excuse to get out of the house. “My partner demands too much of me,” she confessed when confronted about her behavior. “I’m doing the bulk of the housework, as well as providing all of the emotional support he needs. Spending time at home has become draining.”
What my friend is experiencing is a classic case of relationship burnout. As sad as it is, it’s a phenomenon that’s becoming all too common in relationships nowadays. Discover why it happens, and what you can do to prevent it below.
The Brew
Relationship burnout can occur in various types of relationships, including romantic partnerships, friendships, and even familial relationships. It is often a result of chronic stress and emotional exhaustion within the relationship.
Here are some common causes of relationship burnout:
- Excessive Demands
The demands of a relationship, such as time, emotional support, and compromise, can become overwhelming if they consistently exceed what one or both partners can provide. This can lead to feelings of exhaustion and burnout.
- Lack of Quality Time
Relationships need quality time to thrive. If partners are too busy, neglecting shared activities and emotional connections, it can lead to a sense of disconnection and burnout.
- Unrealistic Expectations
Unrealistic expectations about the relationship or your partner can lead to disappointment and burnout. Holding your partner to an impossibly high standard can result in dissatisfaction.
- Loss of Individuality
Burnout can occur when individuals lose their sense of self within the relationship and become overly dependent on their partner for emotional validation. Maintaining a healthy sense of individuality is important for a balanced and thriving relationship.
- Lack of Balance
Relationships require balance. If one partner feels that they are doing more of the emotional, household, or logistical work, it can lead to feelings of resentment and burnout.
- Unresolved Conflicts
Frequent and unresolved conflicts or disagreements within the relationship can be emotionally draining. If communication and conflict resolution skills are lacking, this can lead to burnout as issues remain unaddressed.
How To Overcome Relationship Burnout
The first step to overcoming relationship burnout is simply talking to your partner about your feelings. If you can relate to any of the causes shared above, you’ll need to tell your partner in order to deal with them. Recognizing and accepting the root of your relationship burnout is the first step to healing.
Next, come up with a game plan for dealing with any issues. Certain things can be easier to fix, such as figuring out ways your partner help out around the house more or planning date nights for better quality time together. Others might prove to be more challenging, like adjusting expectations or resolving ongoing conflicts. You may need to seek external help in these situations.
The Pour
The flame of a relationship will always need fuel to keep on burning. If you feel like yours is dying down, you may be experiencing relationship burnout. Reflection, dedication, and communication will be your most powerful tools for dealing with this condition.
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