Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them humanity cannot survive
Dalai Lama
If you’ve been stuck in a place where you feel like nothing you do is right, you’re not alone.
Trust us when we say we’ve been in your shoes. We’ve also experienced moments where being kind to ourselves felt impossible, especially after encountering a series of failures.
Maybe your job hunt doesn’t seem to be going anywhere, or you’re the last single person in your friend group and you feel like you’re destined for loneliness.
It’s important to remember that even the most successful people on the planet have had losing streaks. They might not openly talk about them, but they definitely have. It’s what made them grow into the people they are today.
People with high levels of self-compassion are much less likely to suffer from depression, anxiety, and stress. They are more likely to be happy, resilient, and optimistic about their future.
Dr. Kristin Neff, acclaimed self-compassion researcher
Pulling yourself out of the gutters and switching your mindset is hard work, but it’s so important for reaching healthy levels of self-compassion. Remember that it takes lots of time and patience, so don’t feel bad if you find yourself slipping.
Stay dedicated, and you’ll be back on your feet before you know it.
Increase your self-compassion in 4 steps
We’re often our harshest critics. A string of low moments can take a serious toll on our self-compassion, but it’s important to pick yourself up again so that you can build confidence and set yourself up for success.
Being kind to yourself isn’t always easy if you’ve become used to putting yourself down. But it’s always possible to rise up.
Follow these tips to rediscover self-love and self-compassion.
1. Remind yourself of your special skills and talents, no matter how small
Trust us, they exist! You could be really good at cooking at specific dish, be especially adept at a particular sport, or maybe animals naturally love you. These are what set you apart from others and make you special – because you are.
2. Reflect on your good work
Think about the school projects or subjects you got good grades in, or work situations that went really well. If you can’t think of anything professional, you can use social or personal situations. If you’ve succeeded before, you absolutely can again. Especially now that you have even more experience and have continually honed your skills through practice.
3. Note the things you love about yourself
This may be extremely difficult, depending on where you are on your self-compassion journey. It could be as simple as loving the color of your eyes or your ability to tell a specific joke. Turn these things into mantras that reinforce your confidence. Eventually the list will grow, until you’re filled with self-compassion and love.
4. Know that you are loved, even when it doesn’t feel like it
Even when you’re feeling lonely, know that there are people out there that would love to spend time with you. Friends often come from the most unexpected places, and new ones are waiting for you when you least expect it.
Have patience and remember that nobody is perfect. Life is a series of fails and falls that eventually lead to successes. Be kind to yourself, and growth will come your way!
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